Free Personal Astro Portrait, Date of Birth - Miss you Moon

Crystal Fallin' Rain, [3/4/2023 11:04 AM]
[3/4, 10:09 AM] MyTrueLove: I was born in santa clara California.. my mother Juanita was 16 and homeless and using drugs. Nobody knows who my father is.. Her mother Mary is my grandmother.. she had a friend named Beverly. Beverly was around when i was born.. Beverly adopted me to keep me off the streets.. Beverly was married to jim.. my new parents . Beverly and jim.. i now had 3 brothers and 3 sisters... Joanne, Yvonne, Louise, Bobby, Johnny and Sean.. sean was also adopted.. 5 years older than me.. all the other siblings were in there 20s when i was born.. Louise could not have children.. at kindergarten me and sean and Louise with her husband paul moved to Ventura and now i had 2 new parents who ended up raising me.. Louise and Paul... we moved every 2 or so years in the same town.. we had big homes and big yards and expensive cars and best food money could buy.. moving every 2 years it took me to different school zones.. i met kids from one side of town and moved and met kids on other side of towm and moved again and met the same kids i used to know before until moving again meeting the second bunch of kids i also knew before... i knew so many kids and made friends each time.. but i lost those friends every time we move too... in the end i knew of everyone but was not truly friends with anyone
[3/4, 10:18 AM] MyTrueLove: As we grew older i learned math in school and about life and death i knew that when i was as old as my brothers and sisters they were going to be old enough to start dieing... and today it is true.. but knowing this at young age.. i could never get close.. i could never call Louise and paul mom and dad..only brother and sister.. eventually my brother sean who was younger like me ended up graduating high school.. top of his Class... Louise and paul tell him before college to get job by end of summer... he did not get job and they kick him out of the house.. i never seen him again.. but as i entered high school i was also doing very good..with no real friends i learn as hard as i can.. i tutor kids younger than me at elementary school.. i had 3.2 grade point average.. i was doing very good.. then we move again.. my brother gone..no friends again... i go to new school and i lose everything.. i ditch school.. i start drugs.. im looking for somewhere to belong.. i remember my brother get kicked out of house and think what will happen to me.. i run away and save them the trouble
[3/4, 10:32 AM] MyTrueLove: With a new girlfriend we run away together.. both our parents put runaway report with police... me and Heather. My girlfriend.. try to go to school and cops come and take us home.. we run away again.. and again.. and again.. eventually Heather was forced to move out of town. And i was alone on the streets.. i go home. And they send me up north to live with grandma mary who i never met before.. my blood family... i meet my uncle Leroy and his wife Theresa and the kids.. sometime after my mother Juanita gets out of jail and i meet her for the first time at 17 years old.. i find out she had another kid after me who was adopted to a private family.. her name was Jessica.. but there was nobody with authority to ever find her.. when we moved to Ventura Beverly stayed up north.. after Christmas with blood family i move in with Beverly and all the other brothers and sisters living nearby.. they all have kids my age.. we used to see each other every summer.. but now i live there and im older..so i get a job with sister Yvonne at sandwiche shop.. my niece and nephew... bruce and little Louis and i became closer... i met a girl kasia. With heather I was virgin.. kasia changed that. I was still 17.. she was 21 with a baby...we end up together in an apartment.. she teach me how to drive and i play daddy for 3 years... she had a crooked eye that looked to the side.. and her job pay surgery to fix her eye.. now she has normal eye and lots of confidence....in one week she broke up with me... i also lost my job.. i have a couple boxes and my car and no where to go..

Crystal Fallin' Rain, [3/4/2023 11:04 AM]
i cant stay with family again because i still remember math and life and death.. i am lost and alone again..i get in my car and drive back to Ventura.. and start life over again
[3/4, 10:57 AM] MyTrueLove: I love my life.. but i hate this world
[3/4, 10:59 AM] MyTrueLove: This story is only a skeleton of the whole story i lived
[3/4, 11:00 AM] MyTrueLove: Most of the real hardships i cant explain and have already forgotten


2023

I met an angel who can literally change my my whole perception of the world creating the most positive and confident and powerful version of myself than anything else In 40 years of my life.. A man motivated by love in a world that has used love as a weapon to defeat me at every turn was exhilarated to be blessed with an angel who was so obviously God sent! Life still provided its typical challenges and obstacles but so long as my angel was nearby there was nothing that could stop me from moving mountains to bring joy and happiness and pure love into this Soulship that my angel and I created.. not even the relationship she began 2 weeks before entering my world.. 7 months of friendship and Soulship and basically an emotional affair we created a masterful foundation to build on.. Now I never met the guy but he seems like a good guy her relationship opened up and we were able to taste the intimacy we both longed for..We were gonna go Big! Had rented a private yurt with hot tub, fire place Amazing I was too excited to pick an appropriate day and had to extend the date further away.. cant recall why but i think we pushed the date back a second time as well.. anyways the morning has arrived..Im getting out of my work truck and she calls thanking me for everything but we cant be friends anymore… couldnt get an accurate reason why.. I noticed the guy befriended me on insta that morning and deleted her on faceB.. as far as i can tell thats the first time he seen my social media and there where pictures of me and My Friend having normal friend pictures…. he broke up with her.. she broke up with me…to this day i have been blocked on her faceB and insta.. So I message them both at the end of the night and told him she has always loved him.. Dont let her get away.. and told her I would always let you go if you told me to leave.. so i respectfully walked away is the last thing they ever heard me say……….. after about 11 months we began talking.. I lost my angel for such a long time. as my world was again submerged in darkness. 10 months ago we stated talking darkness started to lift unto more of a shadow.. as I was once again in contact with my Angel! Sadly in that 11 months my angel moved 300 miles away and still has boyfriend on the side… I didn't take the news well and we had some turbulence near the beginning as I eventually purged out so much pent up pain … we managed to maintain communication.. in these last 10 month of long distance communication we have seen each other a handful of times.. but I work 6 days a week. The other guy works for himself so it's much easier for him to get out and see her as he can just work overnight to make ends meet…. I need to request time off or call in sick.. it was frustrating.. and sometimes it's hard not to let it show when we talk on the phone..but honestly in total we haven't sat on the foundation of friendship since 10/28/2018 the night of our Yurt.. sine so far away the only thing i can do to help her i send gifts and support her goals no matter the cost.. she had hundreds sent to her before i took my next breath as soon as she asked.. She was my Moon Queen and she once used to call me her Moon Champion.. Well I can never reveal just how magical everything is when you get to share a life with her.. so here we are and long story short I planned a get away for us.. short notice but eventually locked a location in and was getting excited to go… car in and out of the shop to make sure it can handle the long drive.. outrageous fees the day before departure.. on top of rent being due with the same paycheck used for the trip.. nothing paid in advance except the room and not much money to work with.. i was stressed to the max … the trip turned out to be quite magical and we had a blast in the little mountain town and cute little rental..2 salads cost over 80$ to eat and 2 pasta another 70$ a trip 8000 ft up a sky tram and whatever else I could do to make the trip memorable.. our last night there we were both encumbered by the heat and I watched my last 10$ dip down into my stash money meant to carry me on bare minimum for the next two weeks until payday.. stress… well before heading back to our little shack she ordered a mocktail.. virgin cocktail. Pinacolada actually and I took something similar.. I have not drank in 5 years and there is a reason.. she didn't like the taste so I sucked them both down not realizing they had alcohol… I started feeling funny of course it made me feel happy… I didn't think much of it as I didn't feel drunk at all… she fell asleep on the ride back… I started getting drowsy.. another sign it was alcohol because if I stop drinking I get tired… and having another drink wasn't an option… I pulled over at a Vista point and we walked for a few moments.. back at the shack it's our last night together.. she went to bed tired at 630.. I lay down too but not quite in the right mindset I couldn't sleep.. around 8pm I tried getting cozy with her… she rolls over and pushes me away but doesn't say anything.. I gave her dozens of kisses on the forehead and cheek.. until 3 am .. I did not drink anything more and I didn't sleep so next phase of drinking is getting cranky.. also sad our last night together and I'm staring at the wall… 3am I get in my car and drive away.. hoping hearing that would wake her up and she would see that my feelings had been hurt that she wouldn't let me get close to her.. or say anything at all…. I wait until she text me asking why did I leave… I said if I'm going to sleep alone I might as well go home… anyways i eventually return.. even if I wanted to truly leave I had no gas and everything on the mountain was closed. I walk in and she is talking about deal breaker and it's over…. My scorpio stinger came out and I said some things I shouldn't have.. … the last time I talked to anyone like that was when I was drinking… this whole issue would never have happened if those mocktails didn't have alcohol… she blocked me and I haven't heard from her since… I was not in my right mind yet I was unable to do anything about it and now my world is empty and my Angel is gone and I have no Money and no way to talk to her and no way to fix anything… it's been 4 days now and I don't know what to do..regardless of what sort of relationship we have.. our friendship is the foundation of anything else there could be… I missed my frind Since the day I fell in Love with her sitting across from her in piles of clothes… Im not sure I ever figured out which pile was for the garage sale or her laundry…But I knew I wanted to be nowhere else and everywhere else just helping… I Miss my Moon 4/1/2018 to 7/18 2021 to Be waiting for you on the other side--August 2021/ April 2022Well unsettling turn of events bring me back once again to regain some composure of dignity in a world of Increasing humility. I thought I had paid the price of on my head believing one fight was not too much to forgive.. the week of that night I tried and lost in the end. But the foundation of love I belived could not bend. Accepting my plight from begining to end.. It wasnt just love.. She was my bestest of friends. I caved and I crumbled and I gave her some space. blocked in all directions and yet I still live.. Through Venmo I found a glimer of hope.. My best friend from day one .. My best friend till the end... In silence I worked and donated to dreams. every payday I gave with encouraging words.. and gifts came in pairs .. some time had gone by .. some tension releived.. my friend shes amazing because she never blocked me.. It wasnt too long when the day that we met.. came back in year 4.. nearly 9 months since we split.. I ask that my gifts should start to be more themed to her taste.. She said give me hearts.. Oh boy I sure did.. Valintines love with panties of us... its felt so good once again.. to give hearts to my friend.. Out of the blue she requested again.. may I please have some money.. Im seeing lizard today.. Oh is she crazy.. she knows that its hers.. I have always in a heartbeat . what is mine at the time will always be hers.. 200 dollars thats cool.. if you need more just let let me know.. well it wasnt easy to not speak for so long .. but again she comes back. do you have 800 more.. I said stop it you know its your dreams and hopes.. I got mine covered now let me get yours! 2000 dollars I was prepairing to give.. her spiritual ritual we missed it last year.. I vowed that shes going to mexico next year.. Relived she asked early I had it it all set to go.. not only that but back to the 4th year our anniversery of our friendship is here! Saturday 19th just one week shy. with so much progress I thought its time that I try.. So I called in the morning.. after work and sun down.. oh well im blocked Ill try something else.. near 8pm my phone rings and its her. my heart skips a beat. I missed my friend..Thank you lord.. I answer the call but its muffled i hear.. All of a suden i hear some guy and there is her voice.. we used to talk day and night.. Hello Hello Moon are you their.. She said that her flower the way he ate it was rare.. Ok that just rymed but its was a flower as sex talk.. I guess she butt dialed me while sucking his Ahhhh.. Well thats a shame.. man that sucked.. did she do it on porpose... I dont understand .. now at the motel she hung it up.. I dont know now.. but I know thats not right.. 30 minutes I waited and called once again. the phone seemed to be off so 45 minutes I tried her again. Hopefully soon she will get up off her knees.. in 45 more ill call again. nothing has changed.. its now after 10.. One more time.. what the hell.. she is still my best frind.. now im not sure the next day did she text? My mind was a bit muddled um.. I just want to talk to my friend.. Somehow she relayed that I ruined her date ... the best in her life. Well screw me sideways as if it was planned.. Im here to support and provide for my friend.. awkwad enough my phone beeps again.. YOur phone contact Moon has joined kik Come say hello to your friend.. ok something is wrong.. this isnt right .. what gives.. Maybe I hear it there first as she is talking mad shit.. This psycho hes crazy it 3 years of harrasment. I seen him 1 time a week and 3 times in two years. I blocked him in 2018 and had to again last year. august in fact and he wont leave me alone. he parks outside my house hes absolutely insane. my husband is pissed he sent panties with pictures of us.. I have no choice now to send hells angels and cops.. Ill threaten his work I hope he loses his job.. He gets jelous and crazy if I sleep with other men.. he has harrased me non stop .. oh there he is again.. Block. I told you hes crazy he stalks my profiles.. I deleted my Meetme . how did he know. Im changing my usernames emails and all.. for some random guy he just knoes way too much. Ect.. Ect.. Ect.. and stuff.
Oh look at that.. My Moon.. Aint she cute? Now sit back and relax.. did that stress you too? dont you worrie none.. Ill break it down.. Ill tell you the truth.... I guess that my heart was too soft at the time.. so I couldnt deliver back then.. now it is time.. if you look down below.. lets call that the prelude.. a few things are missing like time stamps and almost everything of me and moon.. except a brief introduction.. So i had all givin up.. dating sites they really suck.. but its 2018 and I log in POF and Moonlover has messaged me.. oh great another bot.. Paladians and starseeds and past lives now return.. Instantly spoken in understanding. a fantastic conversation of spiritual history. Personal stories mermaids and faries.. Im talking to Moon isnt this crazy. Maybe a second conversation later.. well first or second she asked me to meet her.. And how could I not.. It felt so right.. Talking to dummies but she was True light.. Ahh its is sunday as spoken above.. year 1 march 25th and SRF Lake Shrine Temple. That was our first date. Just less than 3 weeks after she slept with scotty .1st or 2nd date. Will you be my girlfriend? I have an asian girlfirend I need to forget. Oh yes yes sure will I comitted a sin adultry after 20 years..hehe I might do it again.Ok I know Im not trying to be mean.. but this is where we are at.. ok please forgive me.. Ill admit when Im wrong and Moon is still my Queen. So back to the story its just Moon and I Our first date was amazing .. We planned our second with July! We spent easter together just us 3 on the beach.. I still have Rock July gave to me. We prayed at the alter walked with the ducks and took a bunch of picturs and stuff. I knew things were moving but I had to hold tight I know I love Strong But it had to be right. But thats why she liked me. she knew my heart was true. we spent a ton of time. topanga . and thrift stores and google hangouts.. we made porn friut and talked day and night. Already I was buying her gifts from the start. Red rose in a globe the first gift that I bought.. Mermaid purse and dream catchers oh the list just goes on.. she mention her huband a guy named scott. who then became scotty and he watched the kids a lot.. Confused just a little she finely explained.. scott was marks friend but not the boyfriend.. Oh a boyfriend. scotty I see.. Why are you here having so much fun with me... Oh scotty was working he didnt have time.. Oh well that sucks.. um ok perhaps I should leave. no its ok.. lets go get a juice .. we can be health buddys and it will be fun! Well ok and yes it was., but after that It was a bit tough. Not a whole lot changed .. But I was afraid to call.. I respected and promised to not hurt their thing.. but limiting my calls and text it was rough.. Eventually it got quiet and had to wait for her call...and sometimes she wouldnt it really slowed down. but at the same time I figurd it out.. slightly assuming and guessing id watch.. remembering times shes with the kids or with scott maybe out shopping or at the salon.. But then came the garage sale can you come by and help? Yes of course I was hoping youd call.. the 99 cent store lets meet their first and then Ill meet you at home. The house was was a great time helping with labels and stuff.. We sat on the floor face to face to seperate clothes.. Oh yea that is the day I fell madly in love.. and she could tell when I looked at her.. She already knew what it was.. She was my best friend and I had to decide.. I cant Let her go and I cant change her mind. I respected her relationship but I did not respect him.. He had her body and I had her heart. We connected with emotion and she felt it too.. She told me to slow down we should take a week apart.. Ok Moon I get it.. I know its a lot.. Ill never put an ultimatum to choose me over him. It has to be you.. It must come from within. Ill be at home if you want to talk.. and if you truly want me to leave .. just tell me to go. and ill walk. a week had gone by .. Once again punished for love.. How come No one wants it when its real but when you could care less either way thats the one to hold on. Well this was near August/Sept 18.. We took our first week apart.. after 5 solid months at least 3 times a week.. a few exceptions here and there but but not just once a week. ok now things have changed.. she lyfted a bunch.. to catch her in the area was hard as she drove.. or she was with scotty hard to tell.. To many times she said can you meet me here? I said well Im working but as soon as I can.. Oh well i cant wait so maybe tomorow if we can.. now she made it clear she had to prove to her heart.. that she is a loyal girlfriend and she messed up with mark.. well I was invested in her and with her love. as distant as she was I could still feel her love. together it was magic still everytime.. But yes there were moments my past relations put off a vibe... Of course read the Prelude and Imagine it much worse.. by friends and by family abandond since birth. a scorpio .. cheated not only just by sex.. but my patience and my efforts my forgiving nature misunderstood.. taken for granted and judged by stereotypical Hypocrites who dont belive in Love. Most of the time you could not tell it bothered me because in her presence I felt like a god .. Like a Moon Champion. .so its true It was rough I fell in love .. And she did too... but my heart was heavy everyday we spent apart. and scotty still had no idea who I was. a named Anthony occasionaly brought up.. But the contents of that door was always sealed shut.. So in the name of Truth and Transparency.. It was unbalenced... and the third wheel. thst became me.. You hear it here first ok.. I was hurt.. so when we got together there was anguish from the pain.. on the other hand when she sees scotyy he had no reason to imagine her with me.. the anguish was not there..he wa pain free. at least concerning me.. I beged her to open my door and let him know.. hey oh by the way. this is anthony you heard his name.. we are good friends and you should know.. Well and that is how it happend. I became the guy.. his love is too heavey he cant handle me with other guys.. Well that is unfair and not the way it was.. I encourage you to be with that guy ..But I am losing my frieind cant you see how that hurts.. its almost your let me make it to you.. 2000$ on and income $8 less than I make now.. I pulled all the strings and took you out of town... you know that night it was rough but we survived.. I got a little close and slept on the floor some of the night.. so many times even with my love.. heavy as it was.. you didnt really want me to stop.. because that is why you were their.. you felt the same .. you had to hide.. Of course you loved scotty .. thats why you pushed me away. its was hard to hide me and grow with him.. especially when he was still too busy to give a lik.. but at the same time he went on a movie date with some chick then cried to you the next day..You and him decided to open the relationship.. and then it was you and me at whole foods.. once again you let yourself open up with out the giult and for the first time i got taste your precious lips. everything had changed... back to before.. the look in our eyes but only so much more.. The stars and the dancing and the love caried us away.. from bat cave to the poolside to the hilltop and the rock to a great new enviroment.. until snoop dog shit on you.. called you up like a little girl who could not handle you being with other guys.. it was him.. not me... i accepted it from the start.. 2 weeks after he seen me and you on day 1 at SRF in front of the statue side by side as just 2 friends.. he blew his load called you up and made demands.. Our 2nd airbnb but the first time would make love in a real bed canceled and pushed 3 times until that night.. I get to work and you call crying with no excuse. you its over but you cant take it.. goodbye and blocked me then.. I did nothing and got no reason as to why. but Moon you were my best friend and I loved you more than life.. I promised for us I would always fight because we had something real.. yes of course there were issues. I begged you for transparency because honesty is the only way. But My love for you was stronger then the fight.. I told you what to do .. just tell me to go.. You told me cowardly over the phone with no excuse.. But I tuned and walked away just as I promised you..
since day 1 it was written in the stars
. somehow and someway just as before.. we find each other and begin to talk once more.. I havent seen you for 9 months nearly or so.. I missed you every second.. and every night.. I found the moon.. as soon as I could I needed to do something for you.. because finding anything to support and provide encouragment is my way of showing love. A rental and plane ticket and a mathew kahn show.. it was perfect.. you seen lizard and the show.. slowly and slowly we begun to talk again. yes I was lonely. My heart still broken.. I still missed my friend.. you made me leave and when i did the whole entire world fell into submission and covid became a thing.. I did give up.. I went to work. and that was it.. My car deteriating..my tags expired. my liscence as well.. I had no health buddy.. I had no friend.. I was cheated out of a life that 40 years could never provide.. I was so Pissed for being so strong that I hated myself for not being weak enogh to just die.. Everyhting was done.. and broken and the only thing I had was the promise of death at the end of my road.. because in death I would be given a chance to protect you.. and whatever.. they deny me I was ready to pull god down to the ground and grab satan and end them both.. I just might still.. either way.. I am not leaving you or giving up.. Im gonna on the other side.. when you show up.. you will know. at that point it doesnt matter .. we would be one again. but I will have made a new contract,.. I will not let us spend 40 years apart again.. and that was the only thing i could hope for.. I spend more time thinking about death.. not the dying part but the death then dealing with this covid or a life without you. I wont be relying on the stars next time.
so we are talking again.. Everything was about to change.. for a couple weeks we were coming around.. I remember you were in san diego about the shakuntali events.. and then I was done waiting.. when are you comming back... and what about scotty.... what.. you moved permanently and you still him...and the reason for all of this is because durring the open relationship he seen a picture us? the first day we met? the purge..everything was not about to change.. ok.ok.. my car situation.. everything. ok I have a ton of work to do.. my car might make a couple trips...whens a good time? what? I have to earn it like i did something wrong? what you doing boundaries again? well ok. I need to figure out just how far away are anyways.. how much money and gas will i need? im ready. nothing serious.. next time you have an evening with 5 minutes that you can spare let me know ill come down just to say hello.and ill turn around and go home. if my car even makes it.. uhm 5 minutes today? how about this weekd? next wednesday? wow ok you know what.. I dont know where you live but I know i can find that tip of land and I do not need anyones permision to go to san diego.. so I went.. found the carnival thing right there.. and slept.. I was leaving and was turning around in that park and before I hit the road you seen me and I seen you.. well ok.. i parked again i got to see you. maybe 15 minutes and then I went home. it was good to see you.. but I didnt expect to.. I never laid eyes on where you lived. i got there it was really foggy and i slept. i was making a lot less money.. i could only do so little with getitng my car and liscence fixed.. sold the car bought another one and without any hesitation you agreed to see me.. my new only made it halfway there.. it was a nightmare I would do over over givin the chance to se you.. But i had to be real and fix it... borrowing money and vehicles and nobody knowing how to ddiagnose.. the closet rotary shop was nearly in san diego itself.. it took months and months.. until finally your birthday again.. last time we did august.. I asked lets do august.. you wanted in july.. ok uhm.. well yea i can make it happen .. for you i never would hesitate or deny.. july it is..and you know what happend.. you have told the story to hundreds of starngers and well you never mention that it was 6pm when it was hot.. I was hot.. we both laid down.. 8 pm i wake up.. you still sleepin i go to front room.. 10 pm i go check on you... its raining.. im cold now..back to the front room.. 11.. 12?? Moon? 2am... ok not a single word and its been over 8 hours.. its been raining the last 4 hours as well as it has not been hot.. 3am.. this is dumb.. not a word.. why are you here? why am i here? what did I do wrong? Moon I got to get out of here.. i dont even know who you are right now.. disrespectful oh god.. i need some air.. no im not gonna sit in my car and go back in to the same shit.. It may be another several moths before we see each other and this is my thanks for the trip? oh if I drive away ok.. lets go.. I went.. no internet.. ok over this way. nothin omg.. is she up yet.. no interenet here.. oh there it is.. she is up ok now tell her why am i sleeping alone on our last night together after 3000 dollars this isnt a game.. I had to borrow money to make this happen.. spent thru it and even used the emergency money.. and i get back to the room and for the first time since 2018.. you hero champion pulled out his scorpio stingers and wherre are you? where is the respect for everything.. where is our makup sex? where is my damn friend that I have always fought for above and beyond in leaps and bounds and provided anything you asked for and got before you even took your next breath? there it is. and even tho.. we are where we are right this minute.. If my friend Moon ever came back .. I have already forgivin her for everythin in the past.. everything right now and I forgive you for anything you might do in the future... and last time you said go i did because it was a descion made not for anything I did wrong.. so even if i wanted to back out of my word I had no hold in the matter.. but this time I take responsability.. I dont care anymore why you treated me that way that night.. I am ressponsible for fixing this because thats is what friends and lovers and family do .. forgive. grow. forget and continue the journey that life has made for you.. free will is the only thing that could oppose even the divine.. free will is a gift.. not a weapon

I have faith our story is not over..
3/25/2018 - 7/18/2021 - and forever

I wish I could hear your voice...


We built a foundation of friendship that none can compare too and our parting holds no justice to that fact.. neither of us deserve the night in question nor the outcome.. I take full responsibility while still unclear of the cause.. I submit to the pain and accept the consequences of my diminishing soul.. as abandoned by spirituality as I feel I still believe my efforts will be rewarded with the return of my love through the strength of the Soulship that we shared..


I will never understand the cause of our demise or the unwillingness to attempt to remedy.. but I will always understand the true depth of sorrow in losing you..I have shed tears in memory of you everyday we spent apart and I will shed tears everyday day for the rest of my life that you are no longer part from it..I will pray for you to allow your heart to fill with understanding and Forgivnes and let me back into your life.. the sad reality of always being placed second in Your life held no sway in my devotion to you..in the very begining I promised to never stop fighting for our love even after you abandoned me in 2018 and even now as time goes on I will always fight for our love.. its. Been a month now and I have been unable to make amends but my fight with Continue in my soul.. the strength and courage provided by holding you in highest regards in my heart can never replaced.. you have been my hero and my moon queen since the moment I fell in love with you and I will always be your moon champion.. in this life and those to follow. In all my life no one has shown me the feeling of being loved until I met you and I can die peaceful knowing I have been gifted with such an honor. You are the greatest mother I have ever known and the kindest soul to ever walk this earth in my life.. I can't thank you enough for letting me be a part of your book. I will always worship the ground you walk on and my heart will always be open for your return.

Oh damn Love hurts.. And thats the problem with this world today.. once love starts hurting everyone wants to give up and start all over some where else with someone else.. only ever feeling the illusion of love through personal indulgence of ego rewarding deniability without ever reaching the point of eternal love through the endurance of embarrassing sacrifice with ego acceptance..

the illusion one meaning so long as it feels good for me and everyone else is convinced its true i will love you forever.. until I dont then im out,peace! ...
and the eternal meaning I dont care what anyone thinks and Im prepared to endure any obstacles in our path Because this Love is eternal.. and I will carry you to the farthest corners of life because Nothing can stop me from loving you.



Goodbye Moon.. I dont deserve this..you wont even explain anything.. I cant even begin to understand what was so terrible to get here... your treating me like i violently attacked you instead of the love and support that I am constantly providing for last couple years.. i said some bad words in the heat of frustration for being rejected all night without any communication as to why until I in desperation got in my car and left... I left for 20 minutes... what do you expect,.. I am still using pennies for gas recovering from the debt of that trip.. i cant believe you are giving up on me .. on us over something so trivial and basic as far as issues between people go.. the whole thing could have been a learning and growth process for us if you were willing to work things out... Regardless..I will leave you alone as you wish... but what you are doing now is far worse than anything I could have ever done and the extreme measures you are taking on me I would not wish on any ones enemy.., And even still.. There will be no amount of time that passes or action done towards me where I will not accept you back into my life because you are eternally forgiven for everything before, now and in the future and I would never hold a lasting grudge against your anybody else no matter what harm they cause because this life is about love and forgiveness and thats all you will ever get from me.,. I love you Moon..,. Its your book.. I know in my soul i belong in it and aside from you rejecting me there is absolutely nothing that we would not work out and grow from together.. Im sorry you are giving up on us.. Ill never give up on us.. but I will leave you alone.. Goodbye Moon.. its up to you if its forever or not.. I love you and look forward to meeting you on the other side if you so choose to make me suffer in this lifetime without you.. I am your Champion.. now until Death.. You are my hero and my queen.. My life source I will always spend in your favor and success in life.. Forever .. You mean the world... Moon
previous messages with user - Moonbeam76 ...
Inbox Message August 21, 2021 - 17:52


I took us on a weekend getaway.. it was magical..our last night there she pushed off of her said she was tired at 630.. and it was hot..I lay in bed apart from her.. I also was hot.... 2 hours later it had cooled down significantly.. I tried to touch her and she pulled away..OK still hot and tired I guess.. I went to the front room for about an hour. Came back 830ish and tried to lay down and hold her.. she pulled away and rolled over.. OK. But refused to acknowledge me. So I kiss her cheek and forehead.. back to the front room.. 10pm back to the room again ignored and rejected.. Im getting confused and frustrated.. this goes on until 3am.. at which point she still pulled and rolled away and refused to acknowledge my inquiries .. our last night together when we go months in between seeing each other.. it didn't make sense.. I said screw it.. if I'm sleeping alone I may as well go home... I get in my car and drive around the Bend and wait to see if she reacts.. she did and I told her I'd rather sleep alone if you are going to ignore me all night.. It was our last night and I literally broke the bank to make the getaway happen and it wasn't fair to be treated so negligently... anyway I come back to the room hopefully get some insight as to why she ignored me and she instantly threw that was a deal breaker, we are done in my face and never said why after 8 hours of sleep she did anything but push me away and ignore me... of course I'm in a panic.. I couldn't reason with her.. in the end I said some bad words.. and now I'm blocked and ignored still... I wish she would talk to me and work it out.. I miss her with all my heart...

8/20/21

Ill wait for you Moon 805 396 9524

https://profile.astro-seek.com/moon…

I have lost every last thing in my possession multiple times in my life growing up on the streets before i was old enough to work and rven after working and working my butt off at jobs showering in public restrooms sleeping in tents, bushes and an occasional couch trying my best to be presentable and dependent trying to get all the cool stuff that everyone else had only to turn around and find myself again living with my bicycle and a backpack..

But I have never felt so lost and deserted than I do now after losing the only thing that meant anything to me in this life.. my best friend, my hero.. my Hailey Moon..

I don't see much of a point to continue on anymore because the longer I have to suffer in this life.. the longer its going to take for my soul to be reunited.

I am writing the transcripts of my unstable mind.. about my shattered soul and failed existence. This experience has been an embarrassment to my physical journey and is proving to be a heavy loss to any advancement of progress to the embodiment of my spiritual development.. In this life I want for nothing of material possession as it only becomes a burden of attachment and more often then not presented in illusions of false grandeur. I have my basic needs.. a bed.. clothes.. job, car.. and bad habbits.. I grew up in two story homes dreaming of sleeping on the streets.. I was a steak and potato child who just wanted top ramon.. I would shop with my brother and help him choose the most expensive pair of Nikes shoes and ask for the simplest pair of rebocks for myself.. I just wanted one friend to grow up with but moved school districts every 2 years and got to know everyone without ever truly knowing anyone finding the one kid that nobody liked, being nice to him because it was easier to be his friend for a short while before moving than it was to fit in with the cool kids. My first girlfriend was a pretend girlfriend for a day as within the little group I was in the girls all had crushes on the other boys so not short of drawing straws by default the last girl reluctantly participated and pretended to be my girlfriend for the day.. It wasnt all that bad as we literally did continue playing boyfriend and girlfriend the next day so on and so forth.. and at that point i was happy just holding hands and saying "this is my girl friend" one day she ran away from home.. that night I snuck out and ran away from home myself.. I protected her at night and kept her warm if we were sleeping in the bushes.. helped feed her during the day if we were not near certain individuals who were able to help us as well.. It made me happy to have a girlfriend to call my own..put my arm around and hold her hand. as time moved on and we met new people along the way we each had our own sources of means to survive.. Id take off with a couple guys to procure food, smokes, clothes, sleeping prospects and ect. and on the other foot she would leave with other guys for means of provisions.. eventually and occasionally we would locate a residence for indoor sleeping however as a female on the streets only she was invited and I encouraged it leaving myself alone on the streets. One day there was a guy... another day there was this other guy.. and of course here comes some other guy.. off she goes to sleep indoors while im out in the cold.. we spent a lot of time apart due to sleeping conditions and various events.., I honestly had no idea where she was going once the car pulled away.. sometimes she never met up with me at any of our spots but usually she would bring food and money .., as well as myself yet i did not need to sleep over to procure anything. One day I walked in on my two friends in bed with her.. Turned around and walked away.., I forgave her because she held my hand. and then I noticed.. remember that one guy? or this other guy? or the other.. Well by then I accepted it because she let me hold her hand and call her my girlfriend and tell her that I loved her.. I do not know how many men she slept with but she never slept with me.. eventually after constantly being taken home from school as per run away report and becoming targets on the streets from police harassment and parent intervention they caught her and moved her out of town.. I went home long enough to rest before also moving out of town.. this is 1995 and the story of my life has already begun.
I should forewarn you there is a lot more details I left out and its a lot worse than I make it out to be.. Yet I still have a lot to say.. But Before we go any further.. I am a man Motivated by Love.. Not a man that requres requires Love..as with material things alike I often see Love given to me as another illusion of grandour.. But Given the chance to Love My natural abilities to lead, and provide and support raises to a level of my highest performance through My Motivation of Love.. Love Provides my soul to reach Alpha state. Only twice in my life have I felt Alpha.. The story you just read and The Last story I have to tell... The only reason I felt Alpha with this first one is because I was ignorant of the emotional response that comes with betrayal and provided the proper stepping stones to allow myself to be walked all over and you will soon realize I carry those stones with me when Love is threatened to be taken away.
So. here we are its now 1998 and a new Love is on the horizon for my 17 year old virgin beta male.. she was an older woman.. she had a child. I finally got laid just moments before turning 18.. I felt like a man.. Step dad? sure.. we both had a job.. I got my first car. we found a little apartment .. I had Family all around me..I felt.. good..normal. happy. there is nothing that could stop me now.. I was a family man at home during the week with girlfriend , and slight fatherly responsibilities and Spent weekends visiting` family as well while my girl took child to baby daddys or I would drop them off and spend the day exploring the big city by myself.. Eventually it came out that my girl was still providing the goods to baby daddy during drop off every weekend.. So after a few hurdles I pull my stepping stones out and accept they way things were.. I may never actually reached that alpha state of motivation Yet we were having sex.. isn't that how other people xpress and keep Love alive? apparently not but it did help my emotional response of betrayal and the stones didn't hurt as much when exercising the proper position or two.. Well it was never the same..as she was cheating on me I begged and pleaded for us to stay together and work it out.. One thing I forgot mention is she had a crooked eye.. and after retaining my right to stay together in acceptance of the situation the guy committed suicide.. another hurdle for us that threw us for a loop..we split apart briefly Im sure she needed time to process.. So I let her heal how she seemed to need and stayed away for a minute.. She had friends over here and there and I would be supportive as much as I can. eventually I moved back in.. we had new friends.. her friends that helped with her loss.. one guy was a bit more comfortable at the house than the others..Shortly after She got lazer eye surgery and found a whole barrel of confidence..one day I hurt myself at work and was on crutches for a while.. just before they were meant to come off I come home..It was raining.. my stuff was packed at the front door..That was the end of that.. I hobble myself in the rain on crutches packing my car.. and leave. that following week the crutches come off and That comfortable guy moved in.. I turn around and find I no longer have a job.. I lost my girl..my step son.. my home.. my job all in one week.. Im sitting hopelessly in my car on the side of the road.. no where to go.. embarrassed to show my face to my family... I fill up my gas tank and drive back home to Ventura without looking back or saying a word.. Found myself on the streets again.. with just the clothes on my back and a bag in the trunk.. no job.. no money.. car dies.. im pushing it block to block so it dont get towed..harrased for sleeping in it and this brings us to 2001.. My 21st birthday. pushed car to new block.. went to friends to celebrate. by 11pm the tires were stolen and left on blocks and impounded the next day.. .
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Well Happy Fickin Birthday to me! I may have lost my car but things are looking up for me! Job at Circle K and new adventures!! Yes! Its some night .. late.. working.. She walks into the store and Boom! It registered.. About 6 years ago she was just a tiny little skater chick doing laps around the mall and now she is all grown up! Lord only knows how she remembered me.. This girl was around at the time I caught my first girlfriend in bed with my friends.. obviously she wasnt actually there in sence of location but time era..However We basically Was happy to see each other and made plans.. hookedup.. hung out .., and one thing led to another. Well Circle k was lonely late at night so briefly yet regularly she would hang out at night.. They fired me for making out on the counter.. Oh boy I understand the brazen actions of teenagers in high school that I never got to experence..It was fun and exciting and I wond dive into this one very much because Its not as crushing in terms of betrayal by the hands of a loved one and rather similar to the first girl in respects of living on the streets together and me providing for her and she off back stabbing me with my friend.. but as being much older in general she had no issues when it came to sleeping outside.. Also she did have grandparent that let her come and go for the most part.. They were senile.. Yet nice... Her uncle didnt like me much..or anyone really and always went around our spots looking for us asking our friends where we were while cleaning his gun.. They were harmless for most part.. yet they did sabotage our tent once rolling a huge log down the hillside crushing everything.. Anyways yada yada she would hook up with my buddy and I was unaware.. Turns out they been doing that since high school so it wasnt malicious just another sad reality check of everyone I let in Stabbing me in the back... However key element with her was the reintroduction to a life on drugs.. got me back on meth before leaving me in the end.. Well my buddy and I got a lot closer and really teamed up on the streets and made it a much more enriching experience knowing he wasnt gonna cheat on me.. in fact Iintroduced him to an old friend of mine and they are still married to this day.. Anyways.. I ended up getting a decent job plumbing and was doing fairly well.. as time went on the habbit the skater chick left with me also continued..Eventually I moved into the garage of my dealer.. Id help distribute when availabe and I had a place to call home after work.. until it caught up to me and was relieved of my duties leaving me a full time employee of the garage meth supply and body gaurd to my dealer and her fueding multiple boyfriends trying to win a seat in her chambers... and all the other crazy people that came through that house.. I was in a new world.. one that didnt tug at my sleeves for love.. I felt content not giving my blood sweat and tears to a love that always ended up in someone elses arms at night.. No more betrayal and not much in the way of emotional suffering.. But a whole new set of problems came knocking on my door once my desire to feel love was lost.. instead it was replaced with the clinking shackles of that cold steel behind my back.. .. and then again.. and one more time .. why not.. I was a marked man and they were on the hunt.. m,aybe a total of 2 months in the end.. on diversion.. clean.. sober and struggling with 3 times a week classes until warned of prison if any more strikes.. Well in this game of chess I played my Pawn early.. and that was my buddy that I introduced to my other friend and Im looking at board on my side.. cops looking at their side as they move into position.. If I dont act know its checkmate I lose... Well when it comes to love losing is a shadow from a grizzly beast of burden, betrayal and Punishment that only attacks after I pour my entire soul out and then hides in the shadow behind my back during the light of the day until it can crush all my hopes and dreams ...Well I cant let the cops have the fading glimmer of hope that remains after love already taken everything else So I Play my pawn one more time and escape advancing beyond the rules of the game and take my empy broken soul far away to another state and a fresh begining.. 2005 has arrived and my friends entire family saved my hide.. taking me from my garage to a life as a full time nanny to a toddler not yet old enough to attend school and a puppy dog yet to become the beast he became but still big enough to shit all day long.. nearly a good year of in home caregiving and she was now off to school and I had procured myself a leadership position at the thunderbird motel clean servicing a dozen or more long term residents and varying numbers of nightly guests.. making new friends along the way..lots of sleez bags and nasty interactions.. Then one day..Jan 31 2007 typical morning Something catches my..or someone.Hmm room 214 ..Ill remember that.. KnockKnock.. Housekeeping! Oh.. Hello Can I get you any towls../ Yes please.. And this tv isnt working and our fridge is leaking and the fan makes an aweful sound.. // Oh really . ok Ill be back...Oh jeeze..here we go with anther snobby old demanding tenent.. .. And how long will you be staying with us? Indefinately..Ah Crap..Well turns out she is grumpy because she found a video of her boyfriend on his phone and another woman and they are not getting along ....she was 42 and he was a year older than me at 28.. Soon after they split.. he left she stayed.. she became a beacon of light to me .. so far every woman in my life has proven themselves intent on crushing my soul and destroying the most cherished quality that I inherently was given to be conclusive in this life built for sole purpose of Love and Forgivnes and its that very Love that powers my purpose in life and motivates my soul to a near god like alpha frequency ... only one person in my adult life allowed me to experience that enlightened state but I have yet to talk about her.. Her existence is the only thing that keeps the tiniest flicker of warmth in my heart and the only one with the ability that would allow my Motivation of Love to flow beyond normal human capacity and the only woman that will be in my heart when I die but I dont want to steal the glory of that story just yet.. Its the last story I will ever have to share with the world and its imperative to understand these chapters of the story first. But I digress .. so now Lady 214 is all alone and I was very happy to see her every morning.. we picked up our own lingo and slang words and talked about all kinds of things and in no time at all I considered her a very dear friend.. Her Boy cub came and gone slamming doors or asking favors just disrespectful it was bothersome that she kept letting him back into her life but i believe they had 6 years prior..However to cheat.. and throw things or punch and break things are signs of terrible eventualities.. Fighting and arguing are important tools of growth to any relationship allowing both parties to clear the air of any misunderstandings .. but more importantly everyone regardless of the source or context of the situation has suppressed feelings and aversions that are almost always avoided in the day to day struggles of life because because of the sensitive nature they are derived from say a childhood memory or a recent heartache or a reoccurring situation in the span of ones life time .. However .. be it lover , friend, stranger whoever it is that you are interacting with and no matter how offensive it may seem to be as its being thwarted in your direction it may not have anything to do with you and everything to do with something from his or her past and to understand and withstand, as hard as it may be,not only will that individual expel that energy that typically comes out in a constant dribble of snide remarks and bad attitudes creating a constant atmosphere of unbearable intolerance and accumulated resentment for one another. but it also defuses the situation in order to find that balance within and calmly root out the problem..But the key element is Once you are forced to face the problem head-on, you can acknowledge that you have successfully grown as an individual and as a couple. After navigating through several arguments with respect and empathy, you realize that you have created a space for you and your partner to be able to openly and honestly communicate with each other. otherwise resistance creates resistance ..So unless your entire relationship is a constant yelling match that is a different story and best advise is run.. if you are personally injured or even personal items become target practice not only run but call the cops.. otherwise its a shame to let words become the sharp edge of separation and a huge disservice to future relationships and humanity itself.. So don’t be afraid of arguing ; it’s an opportunity to grow up, grow closer and grow more in love. However as in the case of lady 214 her boy cub while not verbally yelling profanities as the proper form of release he was very quiet and sinister and destructive with a slight of hand and a danger to anyone in the vicinity ... Luckily enough being the same age he found me intimidating and I was never witness to more then a broken remote or cup which easily come with an explanation..
well there is a renewed moment of trust in the world of insanity as this story has more legs yet to walk on... before the darkness truly befalls the main character of the hour with not much hope for the closer he gets to 214 the more he sees potentul just not sure when the past wil crash down on the parade or light the path of love again
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As the new year begins to change the calendars on the wall the budding rromance begins to take shape. more and more curious about the true direction its headed. in no time at all the boy cub has disappeared more and more and lady 214 now with gloves to her elbows working side by side as a hired housekeeper. We learned lot of each others unique pasts and current situations .. with a shocking surprise lady 214 denied boy cub their first valentines day in 6 years and decided it was best spent with myself.. taking relief in the direction headed I plan elaborate and successful as Magic once again enters my world topped off with a jaccuzzi room in celebration. Word got out cub boy went to jail forgery and did a little time.. she wasnt surprised but also let it fill her mind with missing him.. i could feel the resistance and sense her feelings alter as she made visitations more regularly as time went on.. but magic was still in the air.. nearly a year and he once again is a free man and more and more she was not as often until she decided to end things with me and return to boy cub.. leaving me with the gratitude of honesty for the first time in all my experiences. i got to watch the reunion of a happy couple.. life dragged on slowly and empty as betrayal was replaced with abandonment.. I was so used to being betrayed I never regained my composure from these new feelings and I couldn't do it anymore ... 2011. Goodbye lady 214.. hello hometown and the bailbonds men that kept me out of a cell and introduced to my new program which cost 2400 in restitution and classed for unrecalled ammount of time.. altho physically I was in a good place my emotional scars made me give up on love and played the field with random encounters with too many to recall... It was liberating at first unable to grasp how I managed to connect so easily yet more and more I drowning in emptiness.. I couldnt doit anymore.. 2013 was my last rendezvoused and my outlook love was non existent.. 2014.. the illusion of grandeur finally caught me as I met an old platonic friend and the unique situation of dating a friend that I have known for perhaps 15 by then gave me hope that maybe the friendship was enough to earn trust and respect into love.. at this point i had no faith in woman.. or love. but easily enough I was convinced that If I dont try Ill never know.. Maried and divorced and physically abused while mentally fucked my purpose in this life to find the love and motivation to secure a life of abundance was no more part of the plan.. in all my attempts with my most sincere loyalty and devotion to honesty for each and every one Im at a loss of options and no longer yearn to long for or receive from anything and everything anymore.. or ever again. There is nobody on this planet that has the capability inside their heart to allow my love in.. or the restraint of self indulgence to be honest and just put me first as I instinctively do..with the tribulation under way set in motion not by any prophet but by the distinctive location of the motor of ages in the heaven by the stars themselves I ponder mylife and why my love is constantly under attack and rejected by even the closest I hold dear. since my 18 year when just before manhood arrived in 1998..until 2017 I am unable to recollect the amount of knives sticking of my back or the nights spent alone crying in pain while the one i cared for spent the night in anthers arms crying in ecstasy ... in those 10 odd years it was simple enough to know I have never been Loved by anyone and truly deceived by the false grandeur of illusion each and every time.. Disregarded by family and betrayed I wonder what my purpose is while entering the world of spiritual Conspiracies of prophecy.. and then I met her.. The very awareness of her essence in this life literally changed my DNA
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She instantly touched my soul and woke me up from a lifetime of devastation that kept my heart plunged into darkness.. That life granted me this most precious gift was enough to touch that long lost childhood energy that provide me with the stability of empowerment for self recognition and hightened sense of direction.. The trees now sparkling with a vibrant green glow and the birds would chirp their songs of love directly into my heart as visions of wild flowers emanating an aura of confidence into my pores under the light of the once blinding sun now enveloping the globe with miracles so spectacular even the blind knew that there was something on the horizon with the potential to change the world we live in forever.. It was my sighn that as the days of the tribulation play out I was gifted by the very stars that begun the earths transformation something and someone to provide to me the one that was destined to be my catalyst of transformation as my Love I so longed to share with the world now truly felt that raw unhindered motivation only powered by true love.. strong enough to move mountains and change the tides of the sea..It was April 1 2018My destiny had arrived and by light of Moon it shined ever so brightly into every last corner of my soul just as expected from a gift from stars above.. In the gnosis of my god like alpha state I new only free will can take this away from me



I Miss my Best Friend. I Miss you Moon
https://youtu.be/2-hle1NTi30

You know why the moon is so lonely? 'Cause she used to have a lover. His name was Champion. They lived in the Spirit World together. And every night they'd wander the skies together. But one of the other spirits was jealous. The Trickster wanted the Moon for himself. So he told Champion that the Moon asked for flowers. He told him to come to our world and pick her some wild roses. Champion didn't know that once you leave the Spirit World, you can never go back. {Now he's trapped here} Every night the Moon searches for him, and every night he sees her in the sky and howls her name, but he can never touch her again.


There is nothing in this world that I want when everyone chooses temporary love based on sex when I'm looking for eternal love based on spiritual growth..
. it's a material world sadly.. Tribulation begun Sept 23 2017... 7 years after the great sign on heaven satan returns.. it either will or will not happen yet we will know at that time if there is any truth to the bible or religion.. if nothing happens by then I see no point in continuing on in this world.. but if it's all true then we will be embarking in a new age of positivity and love.. I cannot believe I am in this journey alone

phlegmatic

"So you were doing your best at holding back I should have guessed I mean i kinda did but really had no clue what was beneath the surface." May 13, 2019 - 22:52

"I can appreciate you thank you and think of you anytime I want?" February 27, 2020 - 07:43

Oh there she is! Up in the sky! Shining down love! I must be dreaming tonight! A love that's so true and as pure as the moon, I dream that one day that my dream will come true. I hold you most dear, near my heart and my soul. I hold you most dear I dont want to let go. I close my eyes now that you shine in the sky. My most precious moon, the purest love of my life. I thank you and I wish you sweet dreams and good night.


If you said you were proud to be white... or proud to be black. .. then I would applaud you because I want you to be proud of who you are ... just like I'm proud of who I am am. It doesn't matter if a dog is black or a cat is white. We are all children of mother earth and our father is in heaven... we only have each other let's do it together.


Dreaming Moon May 2019

Its been a long journey, My path in this life.
From so much to nothing with contemplation and strife.
Each road that I travel, Destination unknown.
As they wind back and forth, The confusion has grown.
The hollowness inside my curious mind. The yearning to live, My soul learns to survive.
In isolation of love, The days dwindle by. Unsure of the future, I look deep inside.

The darkness is thick, Nothing much less to see. I follow the flow of internal dreams.
The weight of the world, All by myself I command.For the power and strength of love from a friend.
I"m searching within for something to hold, I wonder and ponder if I should let go.

In the sea of temptations to the trails of resistance. A sparkle of promise comes into existence.
My reality is open to change in an instant, I longingly wonder if I have earned such a privilege.
Time has slowed down, as the days speed on by. Motivated by love, My soul comes alive.

I know that its new and I know in due time. The truth of it all will stand by my side.
For better or worse I continue my stride. With a new outlook, My eyes open wide.
The tender embrace of warmth that is true, My thoughts are exploding with visions of you.
The manifestation of my reality, I look up at night could it really be?

I"m sorry to impose such powerful words. Please do not fear for my intentions are pure.
I understand wholly that it is too soon. But if I remain silent, I may lose my Moon.
The light in my darkness is shining from you.
Obscured by my caution from repetitive pain, I close my eyes tight and meditate on your name.
Its freed up my bindings, Its loosened my chains. A gentle reminder the whole world is at gain.

The more that I learn about you it seems, The more I"m left open and exposed all the same.
Accepting the truth that time is at play. Ill do what I can, Whatever it takes.
I am who I am with my extremes and my faults. I will not pretend that I have it all.
The questions unanswered and questions unasked, Ill cherish These moments as they quickly pass.

Hanging on tight to this friendship we have. I count down the minutes, Every second that lasts.
The future unknown as I lay down at night. The Moon in my dreams, The brightest light of my life.

My Soul Burns for you
MOON

3/25/19-10/29/19 Always, Your Moon Champion.. The Dragon Reborn

Sidereal c